Jul 2, 2009

Life of a parent

Every Saturday is a day that I normally look forward to with earnest like a child waiting to be taken out for an outing. My plan is to make every Saturday a family day, a day where all the family members can sit together over food to chit-chat and discuss matters of family interests.

One Saturday my eldest daughter called, “Papa, I am going for a movie with my boyfriend and will not be joining you for dinner.”

“But today is a Saturday which is supposed to be a family day,” I answered with a slightly raised voice.

“Aiya, I have been working and working. Got to enjoy a bit, you know,” she reasoned out and having said that hung-up, knowing very well that I will relent to her dating.

Hardly an hour later, I received another call, this time from my second daughter.

“Hi, papa I am attending a friend’s birthday party tonight and will be home late,” she sounded so excited and bubbly which she normally do.

“Ok, make sure you try to come back early and be careful when you friends fetch you back. The security is not good you know. Tell your friends to beware of mat rempits. Be careful. Just be careful,” my voice sounded with full of worries.

“When our daughters were schooling, you worried over their education. Now that they have grown-up and have graduated, you are worried over them mixing with the wrong friends,” complained my wife.

Well, maybe in the eyes of the parents, the children can never grow-up and hence, the worries will continue even when they are married.

When my two daughters called, I can either scold them or command them to come back by disallowing them their outings or to understand and allow them to enjoy their time with their friends.
I chose the later because I have come to realize that the children of today are very different from that of yesterday, especially the mentality and outlook in life. On the other hand, if I chose the former and ‘rule’ them under the clutches of my hands, then the children will be rebellious which will ultimately developed into a strained relationship between father and children that can cause great unhappiness in the family. Having said this, I would like to stressed that there must be a balance of what can and cannot be allowed for the children lest they become spoilt, ill-mannered and arrogant.

I have two grown-up daughters who have just graduated and started working and a son who is in Form Two and whom I worried a great deal over his future education. Like any parents, we love our children very much and always try to make them happy. In fact my wife and I have struggled to bring them up from the early parts of their childhood. It is certainly not easy when you are not born with a silver spoon and financially strong. We just ‘ploughed’ our way through this journey of bringing up our children to provide them a sound education and hopefully, happiness in them.

Whether my children are able to give me the kind of love that I have showered them is not important. As long as there is happiness in them, there will be happiness in the hearts of their parents.


ktteokt said...

Kids today have their own world, so do not expect them to be "papa's child" or "mama's child" like the good old days.

I have 3 kids and my kids started going their ways soon after finishing Form 3. They simply have their own programmes and do not want to be "followers" any more! I personally think this is alright, for they have to sooner or later face the world themselves. So why not start them young? And as long as we continue to guide them and monitor their activities and the people they mix around with, I think this is more than sufficient! NESTLINGS will one day fly away from their nests!

cancan said...

You have your points, ktteokt. Generally, I do agree with you.

lkh said...

Ji Kon said your siblings have their own fates and fortunes. Take it easy!
I got a class-mate from poor family parents were illiterates. He was the class of bad pupil. He is now a logistical tycoon. His life is better than many's. And he is kind enough to give help to those who need.