May 10, 2009

How to buy condoms: Malaysian style

1) Go to the shelf where the condoms are display to find out the price so that you can prepare the exact amount. This will allow you to pay instantly at the counter and before the cash register can finished ringing, you would have most probably already dashed out from the shop: possibly the fastest 10m dash in the world!

2) Enter the shop with a book or whatever brochure and pretend reading by holding it high to cover your face. Pick-up the condoms and pay the exact amount so that you do not have to wait lest you expose your face while waiting for the change which can be torturous.

3) As you walked into the shop, pretend to talk on the hand-phone and then tell the sales assistant that your friend whom you have just spoken to would like to buy condoms. You can take your time to pay and walk out gracefully; after all it is for your ‘friend’.

4) Browse through the products on the shelves, especially those that are placed near the condoms. Instead of reading the product you are holding, you can ‘squint’ your eyes on the varieties of condoms available that are placed beside. This will gives you the time needed to identify the one you are interested, without the embarrassment.

5) It is a different ball game, if you are with your girlfriend.
Like a hawk preying for food, your eyes ‘preyed’ for the exact location of the condoms. Then you buy some sweets and politely asked your girlfriend to wait outside. And with lightning speed, you zoomed on the condoms, pay the money (remember to be the exact amount) and out you go to be with your girlfriend.

6) Tell the sales assistant you would like to buy condoms or pick one yourself, pay the money and walk out like a gentleman. The whole world will thank you for reducing the population explosion and helping to keep AIDS under control.


lkh said...

Cancan, I think you are a bit outdated. Nowadays, people have no more reluctant and hesitation to buy a condom. Even a crowded 7-11 outlet, lady or gentleman in there buying condom is not feeling shy any more. Happily she/he chooses one and then waits for paying at the register counter with girl/boy friend hugging together jokingly.
No body will feel shy at this era and this open minded period of modern day. Life style has changed. Making love is like makan tafu. Aids is nothing. bro. Cheer!

cancan said...

lkh,maybe you are right,especially those seasoned ones.

You may be surprised there are still many who feel that buying a condom is like buying contraceptive pills. They looked shy and worried and go 'hiding around the bush'.

lkh said...

When God had invented sex tools for female and male, HE had already invented AIDS as well. This is to punish those committed fornication of sex and unnatural sexuality. Condom is an invention of human. Its main function is to prevent unwanted impregnation and then when AIDS came to invade people's sex life, it is used to protect one from getting to be infected with AIDS. But it is an imprecation to human because of more wanting of desire of sexuality. Those sex maniac should be punishable by AIDS. AIDS is an animalcule lives among us, nothing can stop it going on surviving. It is one of the products of God including corruption. Corruption isn't directly produced by God. It is reproduced by HIS production. Can we use a condom to prevent its actuality of existence?
Don't be mad, cancan, this is a joke. Cheer!

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Buy Condoms said...

I love #3. But with my luck the phone would ring while I'm pretending to talk to someone.

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